The Last Post

This isn’t exactly a goodbye. But, yes, it’s true: This will be my last post here at Sloganeering.Org. After eight years, it feels like it’s time to move on. Specifically, I will move over here to begin anew, and so on and so forth. So, I guess that’s it. Nothing else left to say. Who needs yet another long-winded essay?

Well… maybe one more, for old time’s sake.

I’ve never written anything here for anyone else’s benefit, really. I took the selfishness implied by the words “personal website” to heart. Much to my surprise, however, I did end up with a few regular readers, and to them I want to say: thank you for everything. I’m sorry I haven’t been diligent or, really, any good at all, in responding to your comments and emails, but even if it doesn’t seem like it, they really meant a lot to me. I don’t know if anyone cares enough to need an explanation, but still I want to explain.

The purpose of this website has changed a number of times over the years. I’ve reshaped it countless times, sometimes for good reasons (because it wasn’t working) and sometimes for bad reasons (because I was bored).  Occasionally, I just get sick of the whole thing and start making changes.  I have even implied that I might quit altogether (rather melodramatically, I’m afraid), and I’ve taken the occasional, prima-donna sabbatical.

I’m afraid that sort of thing doesn’t quite work, anymore. What Sloganeering represents–what eight years of Sloganeering represents–is not just a body of work, but a collection of habits, assumptions, frustrated goals, and a mixture of pride, shame, and lunacy that anyone who posts his first-drafts in public must feel, sometimes.

It’s not that I want to escape all that–though I could easily try. I could delete everything, change my name, and begin again somewhere, pretending that I’m someone else. It feels a little like cheating, though. Surely I’ve earned the consequences of my mistakes; who am I to try to out-run them? It would be fruitless to try, anyway. I’m sure I’ll see them again, wherever I wind up.

No, I don’t want to hide from my past, or deny that it exists. But I don’t want it sitting on top of my head, either. What I’ve begun to realize is this: The things I wanted to do eight years ago are different than the things I want to do now, but everything about this space is rooted in the old wants, the old plans. I don’t want to forget any of that stuff necessarily, but I would like to lessen its influence. I don’t want destruction. I just want some distance.

I don’t know if any of this makes any sense, seen outside the lens of my own neurosis. Let me give you a more concrete example of what I’m talking about, then:

There is a reason this site is called Sloganeering. I meant it as a joke. “Sloganeering”, in a general sense, is an attempt to influence public opinion with simple, shallow catch-phrases. I thought it would be funny to call a site “Sloganeering”, and then fill it with long, thought-out essays that tried to provoke thought by engaging the reader’s reason.

I did not anticipate that I would be writing about topics of a more personal nature. Nor did I foresee that sloganeering would ultimately replace discourse in all areas of cultural interaction. Moreover, I didn’t plan on losing my taste for political arguments, only to post endless ruminations on much more personal topics. Thus, the name of the site has become a set-up without a punchline. And I’m sick of seeing it every day.

If all that still doesn’t make any sense (as seems likely), well there are a few practical reasons for me to move on, too. I don’t want to pay for webhosting anymore. I’m sick of having to remember to re-up my domain registration.  There are other things, but I’ll spare you.

I want to extend my heartfelt thanks to everyone who’s read, commented, or linked to this site. I feel absolutely rotten for not treating you all better–that’s the mistake I regret the most. I’ve no right to ask any of you to follow me, and I suspect that a lot of you won’t.

If that’s the case, then this really is a goodbye. And that’s okay. If anything I’ve written here has made you laugh, or think, or kept you company at your job when you were bored, then I have accomplished more here then I had ever imagined I would. If I’ve wasted your time, I apologize. Don’t worry: eventually, you’ll forget about this website and its humble (ha!) typist.

But one thing I can promise: I’ll never forget any of you.

Okay, this is starting to get weird. Time to reel this thing in.

Until we meet again, I remain

Faithfully yours,

BC

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